Toward the North Page 14

  Minmin finished by saying, “Once I awoke from the dream, my husband had become my ex.” She heaved a great sigh of relief; using English to tell a story was a very heavy burden.

  “Does your ex-husband love Maggie?” Ian asked.

  “He should love her. What do you think?” Minmin asked Maggie.

  Maggie nodded, and then shook her head.

  “Zhong Li was always envious when he saw other people with bright and active boys,” Minmin said. She did not understand why she trusted Ian enough to tell him all about her private life.

  All three were silent for a moment.

  The incense had burned out, but the smell still lingered in the room. Smells don’t have wings; they can never fly far away, Minmin thought.

  Standing up to get ready to leave, Minmin said, “I am sorry. I monopolized the time that you and Maggie had to talk.”

  “Actually, it is important for me to begin Maggie’s counselling with a conversation with you,” Ian said.

  “My English is poor.”

  “You speak very well! I understood everything you said. Also, I know that you have a kind heart.”

  Minmin quickly averted her eyes. Having a kind heart was big pair of shoes to fill; she didn’t know if she could fit those shoes.

  Ian politely bade Minin and Maggie goodbye and he extended his hand to shake Minin’s. Minin thought his hand was warm and comforting, and she felt strangely aroused.

  One month later Zhong Li and Tan Chang had reached their limit. They couldn’t bear the smell anymore; if they stayed, they were going to have an emotional breakdown. They finally decided to sell the house. Many people came to see it; however, they seldom made it past the kitchen. Even though Zhong Li and Tan Chang installed deodorizers in every room, they couldn’t cover up the smell. They bit their tongues and dropped the price on the house, then dropped it again, but still could not find a buyer. After trying everything, they decided the only thing they could do was to sell most of their shares in the company to Wang Shengming and apply for a high interest loan from the bank in order to buy a new house. They knew that to repay their debts they would have to scrimp to get by. However, they were at the point where the price didn’t matter as long as they could escape this reeking hellhole.

  On Maggie’s birthday, Zhong Li took a present over to Minmin’s apartment, the newest Harry Potter video.

  Maggie asked Zhong Li to stay for supper, but he shook his head saying that there was something at home that he had to take care of.

  Minmin asked him, “How are things going?”

  “Don’t ask. The house smells to high heavens. We tried to sell it, but nobody wants it.”

  “That house is very nice; those people don’t know value!” Minmin seemed to be incensed for Zhong Li’s sake.

  “You’ve lived there before; you know its value. I reduced the price by one half, and still nobody wants to buy it.”

  “If I had the money, I would be the first to buy it,” Minmin said sentimentally. “Actually, I miss the old home very much….”

  Zhong Li sensed the weakness in Minmin’s voice and said immediately, “I could still lower the price a bit if you want to buy it….”

  “You know I only have fifty thousand dollars. The most I could offer is seventy-five thousand….”

  “Couldn’t you get a loan from the bank?”

  “They wouldn’t give me one; I’ve only worked a short while, my income is too low, and my credit rating isn’t high enough.”

  “All right, I will talk it over with Tan Chang.”

  Zhong Li informed Tan Chang of Minmin’s offer when he returned home. Tan Chang responded feebly, “Sell her the stinking house. She just has to pay cash up front. Phone the realtor to draw up a contract.”

  The next day Minmin bought back her dream home at fifteen percent of its market value.

  One week later, Minmin returned to 98 Audrey Street as its owner. Zhong Li and Tan Chang had rented a truck to move their furniture. Tan Chang had become haggard from having her life turned upside down by the house. Her hair was in disarray, and dark circles had formed around her eyes. She complained incessantly, like an abandoned wife. Minmin, in contrast, was like a breath of fresh air—calm, cool, and collected as if she had recently received love’s nourishment. After Minmin exchanged a few words with Tan Chang, she went into the kitchen, and, from her handbag, pulled out two candles and placed them on the window sill, one vanilla and the other lily.

  Minmin looked through the window to see that Tan Chang had loaded all the curtain rods onto the truck. She couldn’t help but let out a few light laughs. The night she had moved out, Minmin had taken that half plate of shrimp and stuffed some down every one of the tubes of the curtain rods, allowing the stench to take over the whole house. Now those shrimp were going to follow their owners to their new abode.

  At that moment, Minmin noticed that Tan Chang’s abdomen was swollen; the smile on her face slowly disappeared….

  Translated by Lloyd Sciban and Shu-ning Sciban.

  “The Smell” was originally serialized in The World Journal in the U.S., March 3-5, 2008.

  Little Weeping Millie

  DAISY CHANG

  DEAR MILLIE, do not weep! Grandma didn’t decide to move into a seniors’ home because she was angry with you. If that were the case, Grandma would be very spiteful. To tell you the truth, I’ve had the idea of living by myself for a long time now, but I struggled with the decision. Basically, I’ve been nurtured by traditional Chinese culture. I am not learned, but I did graduate from a teacher’s college. Although the ideal of three generations, even five, living in the same household was considered a blessing in our ancient agricultural society, many people paid a steep price because of it. Thus, in China today it is gradually becoming more common to live in small families.

  My movements have slowed over this past year, and my hearing isn’t as good as it used to be. That morning, I thought that you had already left for work at McDonald’s. I didn’t know that you had switched from the morning to the evening shift, so I used the washroom first. I was in there a little longer than usual, which meant you had to restrain yourself by pacing up and down outside. So you became angry and yelled at your mother, threatening that if Grandma did not move out, you were going to leave home! Your mother and father are very filial. They immediately reacted, not only to make you stop, but also insist that you kneel in front of me to apologize.

  Once you explained, as you sobbed convulsively without stopping, “Grandma, I was angry when I said…,” I knew that you loved me. Afterwards your mother and father, during their lunch break no less, hurried home from work just to take me to my favourite restaurant, House of Countless Blessings near Chinatown. As you know, Grandma has a weakness for Jiangsu-Zhejiang food.

  When Mr. Wu, the restaurant owner, saw us, he immediately ushered us in. He took the cane from my hand and said politely, “Most respected elder, at last I have the pleasure of seeing you. By coincidence, I have some good news to report. Do you remember the newly constructed Chinese seniors’ home behind the restaurant? It has opened! The furnishings and equipment are new and high quality, and the staff are Chinese. Furthermore, there are still openings. This location is convenient; everything is here. You don’t have to trouble your illustrious son and daughter-in-law to drive you; you can visit anytime you want. You will not only find a beauty parlour in the vicinity, but there is also a ladies’ wear store, a Chinese supermarket, and a doctor from Taiwan. As well, they speak more Mandarin than English, so, there’s no problem with communicating wherever you go.”

  His reasoning persuaded me. Of course, it is nice to live in your house; however, you live in the suburbs. If I want to go anywhere, I have to impose on others. I can’t drive, speak English, or take a bus. Living in the suburbs is like not having legs. In addition, no one is home in the daytime, so it is difficult to find
someone to talk to. I can only watch videos, but after you’ve watched soap operas for a while, your eyes start to go blurry. Longer than this and you get bored to death. However, living in a seniors’ home is different. Everyone is old; you needn’t worry about finding someone to talk to, no matter what the topic. There is also a nurse on duty twenty-four hours a day; if something happens, there is help available.

  After we were seated that day, I deliberately joked, “Boss Wu, you forgot one benefit: that you will prepare good quality Jinmen sorghum spirits to let an old lady enjoy herself to her heart’s content.” Mr. Wu laughed so hard that his eyes squinted into a single line and replied, “Naturally! If that is what this respected elder likes, how could she be denied?”

  Grandma likes to drink; my wet nurse, who also liked to drink, taught me. Each time she raised a glass, she would always wet a chopstick with a little bit of liquor for me to try. Tasting became my habit. Even my father and mother did not know. Later on, I married into your grandfather’s family and there was no liquor to drink—what could I do? The only thing to do was to ask my wet nurse to help! She would sneak the liquor over, and I would hide it in the kitchen. Then I would wait until my mother-in-law wasn’t paying attention, and I would take a drink, enjoying myself to the fullest. One day I returned to my room and was found out by your grandfather when he smelled the liquor on my breath. “Were you drinking?” he asked. Of course, I lied and said no. He laughed and did not pursue it; otherwise, it would have been difficult for me, a new daughter-in-law!

  If it hadn’t been for your grandfather dying so early and your mother feeling sorry for an old person like me living alone—it didn’t matter what I said, she wasn’t willing to let your grandmother live alone in Taiwan—I wouldn’t have thought of infringing on my son and daughter-in-law by moving in to live with you. These past few years, your mother has been managing affairs both in and outside the home—what a burden! Add to that, Grandma had been running her own home for dozens of years; being this old I know the importance of self-respect. I don’t want to trouble anyone. If I can avoid going out, I don’t go out. Nevertheless, for me, sitting at home every day makes me feel like an eagle that is used to soaring freely through the skies that suddenly has its wings clipped and is locked in a bird’s cage; there is no limit to how depressed one can get. Look how good things are now. Living in the seniors’ home, I not only have nurses and doctors at my beck and call, but I also have a brand-new home of my own. I can move freely and comfortably shop and visit friends—what happiness! You should be happy for Grandmother; what is there to cry about?

  Admittedly you haven’t reached seventeen yet; however, you are always complaining that you want to quit school and move out to live independently. You also believe that the little money you make working at McDonald’s can pay for your clothing, accommodation, and transportation. This is a little unrealistic. If a young person does not study hard, does not strive to make a better future, what will become of them? Grandma should be the one anxious and weeping for you!

  You grew up abroad, so you know little of Chinese culture. Furthermore, your parents are first generation immigrants; they are busy every day making ends meet. Not only do they not have the time to teach you about these things, but also, as a single child, you get everything you ask for, which soothes their guilt for not being able to take care of you very well. This explains why they do not scold you for living a life of shallow pleasure and befriending a few young “foreigners” who love to play and have no ambition.

  A little while ago Grandma read a wise saying in the newspaper: “A father and mother’s home will always be a son’s or daughter’s home, but a son’s or daughter’s home will not always be a father and mother’s home.” I cannot agree more. Even though you are all filial, I cannot forget that I am a guest in my son and daughter-in-law’s home. I can only watch with a sore heart as the young granddaughter that I love so much gradually succumbs to Western culture. I cannot issue a word of warning.

  Now I have my own home, I have the courage to ask you a question: “Why don’t you like to study?” Grandma was different from you when she was young. With all my heart, I wanted to study. It was only because I was a girl that I was held back by our backward tradition of regarding men as superior to women. In those times, we studied for seven years in elementary school. After I finished these seven years, my family did not permit me to register for the middle school entrance exam and thereby continue on. To top it all off, our family was from a long line of scholars, but as a woman, I was still denied the opportunity to continue my studies.

  Grandma’s ancestors were very well known in their old home of Salt City, Jiangsu. About nine hundred years ago, during the Northern Song Dynasty, when the Jurchens invaded, my family fled south from their ancestral home in Shanxi in order to avoid the turmoil. After fleeing several times, they finally settled in Suzhou. Surviving the Southern Song and Yuan Dynasties, they moved to Salt City more than six hundred years ago. From that point in time to my own, there have already been twenty generations. Grandma still remembers the ancient temple of Mount Tai that was close to our old home. The temple, over a century old, was thronged with worshippers burning incense. I still remember the large gold-lettered plaque hung high inside your great-grandmother’s house that was inscribed with the title “Top Classic Scholar.” The imperial court had conferred it on your great-grandfather because he was one of the top five students in Salt City’s “Top Classic Scholar” provincial civil service exam.

  It was only because I was a strong student that some rich relatives wanted to hire me to tutor their son who did not know how to study. However, because that boy was older than I and considered one of my elders, they were too embarrassed to talk about it out loud. Later on, when they learned that I loved to eat watermelon, they used the excuse of inviting me over to eat some watermelon so that I could tutor that boy on his lessons. At home, whenever we had watermelon, I was only ever allowed one piece. They would let me eat half a watermelon. Sometimes, when I yearned for watermelon, I would find an excuse to visit them. Under the pretext of checking his homework, I would arrive without invitation and eat watermelon to my heart’s delight.

  At that time, studying hard guaranteed both watermelon to eat and the attention of one’s relatives. It was like winning a big prize and I loved the feeling of accomplishment. But my family was old-fashioned and they insisted that I couldn’t continue my studies. I decided then to spread the word that if a family was willing to support me in my studies, I would marry into that family as a daughter-in-law.

  When my teacher found out, he asked to see me and gave me a dollar to pay for the exams to enter middle school. To this day, I hold a grudge against my father who was willing to spend any amount of money outside the home, so why was he so stingy with his daughter? If my teacher hadn’t helped, I would have many regrets now. At that time, I swore to my teacher that I would return the money once I had found work. However, my teacher shook his head and said, “As long as you pass the entrance exams, you needn’t return the money.” I immediately fell to the ground crying and kowtowing in thanks to him. That scene will be etched into my heart for the rest of my life.

  When the exam period arrived, I had to take the exam out of town. In those times, transportation was inconvenient, and the road was long. There was no way I could return home on the same day that I took the exam. Therefore, I decided to lie. I told my father and mother that I was going to play at Auntie’s house, and that I wouldn’t be returning until the next evening. They agreed. Later I was accepted into Nanjing Middle School. However, it just so happened that a girl from our village who had gone to Nanjing to study was sent home because she was pregnant, which shamed the whole village. From that point on, nobody was willing to send their daughters to Nanjing, no matter which middle school they attended. Moreover, Father said, “Other people see it when your trousseau is large, but who can see it when your learning is deep?”

&nbs
p; Fortunately, my teacher told me that it was free to study at the women’s teacher’s college; however, one had to teach after graduating. This is the reason I became a teacher. As a teacher, I put all my heart and soul into developing the younger generation, and the students all liked me.

  After graduating from teacher’s college, a teacher called me into her office one day. A young man was already there. His family had sought out a matchmaker and he was sent to meet me. I only met with him for a short time, nevertheless, it was perfect that he also liked to study. We married quickly. After we married, he left for the United States to study aeronautical engineering. He not only assisted his country in developing aeronautical technology, but he also taught in university and eventually became the dean of engineering at a famous university.

  Although your grandfather was intelligent and had an illustrious career, he had a bad temper and could not be called a good husband. Grandmother isn’t telling you these things because she wants to create a bad impression of your grandfather in your mind. Rather, Grandmother wants to share with you the lessons that she has learned in her marriage. A happy marriage and rich knowledge are not obtained at the drop of a hat. Many white girls believe that after they fall in love and get married, their marriage will be like a fairy tale and that the prince and princess will live a blissful and happy life. When they encounter adversity and the dream gives way to disillusionment, they never recover from the setback. Rather, they give up in despair. They truly are pitiable.

  I remember when we left the Chinese mainland and first arrived in Taiwan. We lived in a residence assigned by the government. Another family lived just above us. Therefore, when we quarrelled, I was never able to out argue him. His voice was loud, and I alone was afraid of the ridicule if somebody heard us arguing. The only thing I could do was learn to tolerate everything he did, always yielding to him.